Some times you feel like a....nut?

"Some times you feel like an ass, some times you don't."

Every now and then I get caught up in my own self doubt in reguards to the "advice" I despence. I am, by far, not the smartest or most sucessfull person I know. Yet I still try to speak my mind when I can. Sometimes I feel like an intrucive ass after the fact... But what more can I do then try.

I got a text message last week. It said,

" Dear sir,

Your account ballance is low, and in danger of defaulting to Virgin status. Please refuck as soon as possible to avoid unsatasfied partner charges.

Thank you,

Your friends at
Department 69."

In truth I got this message a mear day after refreshing my account, "whew cut that one close" Over the weekend I decided I should add some additional refuck to my account, and depleeted more then half of my condom stash. You might say I am extreemly more relaxed then I have been in a while. I am also a bit sore. It's been a while since I used some of those mucles, or stretched in quite that way....

"God am I a slut?"

"No billy. I think it's time we had a chatt about the birds and the bees. You have a particular skill. A satisfied partner, makes other potiental partners envious. With you it's just that.... Well trying to sleep with you is like cutting soft warm butter, with a hot eletric knife. It's rather easy."

Well no unsatisfied partner charges here.