The 21st Century.

I have it good. Every now and then; I am driving to work, or I walk out of a building and I look around. I see/ feel all the comforts I enjoy. Even though there is better out there, my life is cake. Its better then cake. I live in luxury. The only time I am uncomfortable is in the early morning; and that is only because my roomate insists on turning the heat down at night. I no longer worry about food, but what quality it is and if I like the way it tastes. I owe much of it to my friends, and their kindness over the years. I look at how I got here, and sometimes I wonder. Was there anyone I hurt, so I could get here. I know I wouldn't intentionally do so, but all the same; was there. I think about it and here and there in my memorie there are people who were hurt by me. Then I ask why, and if I could have prevented it if my modivations in life were different. For almost all of them the answer is no. Many of the romances in my life are regretable, and didn't have to end as badly as they did. Other wise there is only one main person who comes to mind. When I finaly decided to 'move up' in the world; my modivation was food. I still can't help feeling like I abandoned my old boss. I worrie sometimes that I 'coped out'. I think, "what if i had...." and wonder if I could have waited. I try not to dwell on it. I know that I had a tough choice to make, and did the best I knew at the time. Thinking on it from time to time, helps me remember how much I value all the help I had in getting here. I hope if I get in to NASA the way I want to, that I will be able to do something that will help people. If it helps them live easier, or healthier, or what ever. I have been slacking off about trying to get back in to school. I keep saying 'oh I have time'. I can't start untill fall; summer at the soonest. I need to get to the school and talk to someone about getting in. That is the next step.

On a brighter note I want very much to get a good bike again. The snow this morning reminded me of all the quiet and peace when out in the hills. I miss it. I think I will have to find a way to get a bike and time to get out there. :)