Weekend

I have spent alot of time trying to remember why I wake up in the morning. For so long I thought I woke up everyday waiting for some romance to walk in to my life. After Josh died I spent some time thinking about him. I thought about what I would say about him. I thought for a while and found myself in tears remembering what he ment to me, and why.



"It wouldn't be the first time I had contimplated suiside."

Romance. Over the last 4 years Romance was all I found to live for. I had forgotten what highschool was like. I started remembering what I was happy about; back then. I realised that some of those things are still in my life, and I wondered why they weren't enough. It didn't take me time to see the reason. I had chosen not to be close anymore. I got so wrapped up in romantic relationships, that I started putting them before everything else. I allowed all of my time to center around them. Every time I got hurt, I pulled away. Not just from whom ever hurt me, but everyone. With every 'offence' to my heart I became less trusting; of everone. I drew away from anyone on the irrational feeling of 'if she can hurt me, so can anyone else'. It wasn't something I did conciously. I did it with out even realising what I was doing. I just reacted. I am breaking down the barriers I put up. I am remembering those friendships that got me through the hard times. I am pulling away from the drama, and remembering what Life is really all about.

I think it's time we played liverpool...