D2 cntd...

Now my mucles are akey. And my head is screaming for pain killers. So I had this hope. It was all I had. The last of it. The one thing that kept me waking up. The one think that keeps me going. And now its gone. I am loosing it. Josh is gone, and I just slipped of the end of my rope. I need to meditiate. I need.... I need her to.... no I want her to hold me. I want her to love me. I love her , Am I so arrogent? Why am I so intent that she loves me? I know that she doesnt' but I can't convince myself of that. I was holding on to that, It woke me up in the morning and rocked me to sleep at night, Now shes gone. There's part of my heart she takes with her, its the last part.... I can't do this any moe,......