Day 2

It is now Monday. I woke up saturday around 10A and I went to bed Sunday around 3a and woke up around 9a. I have yet to go to sleep... I have only eaten a small sandwitch and some junk food, from the wake, since Saturday. I am hungry but I can't eat. I am tired but I can't sleep. On the bright side this means I will be loosing some of the fat that surrounds my middle. :P Its odd. Everything seems to echo in a distant far away kind of way. Everything seems so continued and real, yet hazy and groggy. I expect it will be day 3 or 4 before I sleep again.... Ah insomnia the old familiar feeling... "bring back that lovin feelin, wo ooo that lovein feelin bring back that lovin feelin cause its gone gone gone wo oowo."

This time I can't eat either. I feel sick, and vomitous but I am starving. I am not sure if I am refusing sleep and food or if I just cant stand it. I am typing at 900mph and my leg won't stop bouncing up and down. A voice is SCREAMING inside my head that I need to let go.... I need to give up. I need to rest, I need ........

I don't want to give up. I am not ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F**(^*#@ I am sooo frustrated. I want to spend the day crying. I wand to scream at the top of my lungs and just keep screaming until my lungs burst. I can't stand it any more. I I I....I am going to breath. And now I am going to do my job and pretend that nothing is wrong...........