I don't often see photos that really make me feel what the picture is saying. This one almost made me cry... and that is my mood for the week...

Christmas.

Lots of fun. lots to say but no mind to say it. SO happyness. Friday 29th I am organising a Swing dancing night out for anyone interested. 9p- midnight. 7$ at the door. Modest dress "mormon dress standards" are apreciated/ respectfull, but not required; so long as it isn't too reveling. Call me for more info.

"..Im dreaming of a white christmas..."

No rick, there were almost 4 people against.

Yay! Its snowing. Trouble is that by christmas it will all be melted.

My brother got in town last night and we all went out to play pool for his birthday. I know there was a reason I was going to write that down, but I forgot what the reason was... meh oh well. HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE.

Thursday...

Ok The final decision has been made. I am going to inform my employer of my plans for school, this fall, and try to be in Federal by then. I found out that 'full time' schooling is only 12-18hrs a week! LOL LMAO!!! with all the B***ing every one does, I thought it would be more then that. I have it easy in this job because I will be able to do homework while at work. So an extra 12-18 hrs a week, its only a part time job, and it gives me something usefull to do at my day job. :) going full time means I can get grants and such, so once again I will endevor in to the wonderfull world of digging up grants. If all else fails I will resign to the fate of student loans.

I am going to start with an assosiates degree. Then if things are going well I am going to Minor in Aeronotical mechanics and Major in Aerospace engeneering. I'm not going to discount the military. That will be a decision that is made once I finish my assosiates; Depending on student loans / funding. So for all those of you whom are 'anti' me going in to the service, you can all relax; for at least another two years. :)

That also means I will not be moving to Ogden, and will not be geting back in to theatre. :( Oh well.

Party Gal/ White n Nerdy.

Welcome to Party Gals!

Lotions, Potions and Things that go BUZZZ in the night! (among other things)



I decided to give Aleatha some free advertising for her 'special' toy business. :)
Many of them make Great GIFTS! <--Christmas! HINT HINT! (for him and her) There is a contact link so you can ask questions about products etc... Please place your orders through the link above or by contacting her. The price is the same if you go to the host site but Lee gets part of the profit if you order through her site. (<- this intended for those 'computer savy folk who might stray from the original html.)


In Other News :




On to the real entry.

Ok so I have decided that if I go to school it will be funded on my own. I will see if I can manage to go full time (doing my homework while I am at work..) and if I can I might be able to get grants and such... :) we'll see, I'm a hopin :)

The stress is mounting as the month end draws near. Bills Bills Bills! Next month I will have around 1k in the bank at start of month, by the end of the first week it will be close to 0. If that much... hence my stress. The first month is going to be the worst. The second month will be a little better, and then things level out. Stress until then. :) In the mean time I'm going with Aleatha to her jobs christmas party! This means that I get to meet all the people she is always talking about. :)

"There'll- be Soap- for Chris-stmas..."

I am broke, so anyone who wants a present from me is getting soap. :P

So I was awake for a whole day yesterday. I woke up at 12a and went to bed last night at 12a.

I don't think I am happy. This whole Living Single thing isn't working as well as hoped. I find that I am willing to give it all up in a moment for a crazy shot in the dark. That or I am just bored. The prospect of moving to Ogden has come up. Haley and Brandon are looking around for a theatre. They think they are ready and are looking at pricing, location, etc.. If I can move up, get a good job, and a good place to live; then I can do carpentry again. Right now they have no crew. I know they have contacts for actors and such. Brandon has established himself with a credible reputation in the theatrical community. They are going to see just how credible. If I can I would love to have the chance to do carpentry again. I won't get paid for a while, in fact I don't expect to get paid for years down the line. So I will need a secure job that will take good care of me for 5 years, minimum. That or I need to find a way to give up my car...

Well fun day at work, :)

Desolate Escape

Nasua creeps.

Feel it rising,

smell

a hint

of tabaco,

then my

gut wrenches.

eyes close,

and then open.

Memories come,

and go.

The sun is set to blind,

tears to freze the ice.

A heart that wanders,

desolate from escape.

Vague Dust

Wind passes through.

Blowing thoughts

into peacefull slumber.

Like faded memories,

shadows on the wall.

An empty hunger.

A vague notion

of headache.

Cloudy and grey,

they skies all say.

Light creeps in,

through the dust of day.

A heart wanders

and fades,

but doesn't

go away.

RE: Navy, Air Force

It would seem that one way or the other I will be going back to school.
~I can go back to school and try to fund it myself.
~I can go back to school until I have enough schooling to get me in the Air Force in the position I want.

I am trying to get schooled as an Airframe Mechanic. I can also go all the way and get and A&P. I don't know though. I like the idea of being part of aerospace; building and repair. However I don't like the idea of being part of corprate americas Aero bankrupsys. The Aero industry is not doing so hot and it makes me worry about demand for the job. Its a lot of schooling, and not so much job security. * sigh* I suppose it would be good, either way, to have an associates; of some sort. I'll have to see what kind of funding I can get and where I need to go to school, etc... like I said though, school, normal schools, scare me. They are all so like: ... throw a few books at you and spue information at you until your head is so cramed full of nothing that you have to spue some of it back on to paper. *shudders* yuck. I hate how most teachers teach. Its not teaching, to me, its talking for hours and never doing anything. Bleck!

"...In the Navy...." or was that the Air force...

Today I was thinking about my future. I was considering people I knew and how they got where they are today. Vader crossed my mind. He is an aeronotical mechanic. Aka he is an airplane mechanic. He got his training from the military. I don't remember if he was Navy or Army, but it got me thinking. I remembered all those commercials about joining the Navy to go to school. Usually when I look in to a job or a new carieer, the more I learn about it, the less interested I am; or I learn that I am not qualified etc... However, with the Navy the more I learn the more and more I want to join. The benifits alone are superb. Not to mention meal planing, housing assistance, travel discounts, and all the other perks. Then there is the core benifet; school. The schooling and trainng. I am a visual learner, almost to a handycap. I have such trouble learning something out of books and 'class' that it terrifies me to think about going back to school. In the Navy I can get a good mix of classroom and OJT. So I can learn, do, and then check my work. That alone has me anxious to learn more about it. To go back to school with out the anxiety and worry of being crammed up in yet another classroom, has an apeal that is only surpassed by that of a woman. I WANT this. There are very few things I have ever wanted like this. A good life, and good companion are the only other things that have ever had me feeling like this. Much research to do, before I even think of talking to a recuiter. I want to just go enlist today, but I know that in this I must use patience and do my homework.

EDIT: I just heard back from Tie. He recommended the Airforce. So I am looking in to all of my options. I will post here when I know more.

MUST RANT!!!

This woman is driving me nuts!!! So the receptionist had to go with the other building administration to an out of building meeting. So I am stuck with this crazy overly opinionated fantisy world moron. I realise I am jumping to conclusions about this woman. I know she is not living in the present. Ever met someone who isn't quite there? They seem like they are mentally stable, but no one is home? Ya thats her, only the part of her brain that controlls speach forgot to leave with the rest of her brain. So now all that comes out is incoherent gibberish. *exhales* Finaly. She stoped talking. Its quiet, now I think I will zone out writing my book. That way I can look distracted and bussy. Maybe then she won't try to talk to me again. Only 2 hours and I get a real person back!

Living Single *Update 12-8-06*

So I started this blog three months ago this month. The point is that I am going to be single and try to be happy doing so. So far so good. I have the occasional low, but over all I am more content then ever before in my life. When I am with someone I have the occasional high point, but it brings severe low points. Alone, this time, I am finding things to be much more melow. I don't mind having highs and lows, I just mind the lows being lower then the highs are high. This week I am more stressed then I have been, because of the car. If I can get one more promotion then I can relax about that too. I would like a nice relationship with a woman, where we are both putting equil effort in to it. However I will be fine with out one. This time around, the more time that passes, the more comfidint I am about being single.
I have a GOOD home to live in, although messy, it is a great place. I have food EVERY DAY!!!! I have a NEW car and a GOOD job. I don't know if I am happy, but I do know that I apreciate the structure of my life, more so because of how I used to live. I look at my life, in the abstract, and I have it REALY REALY GOOD. No more roches. No more nights freezing my toes off. No more nights going hungry. *holds back a tear*

"never saw the sun, shining so bright. Never saw things going so right."

Here's to the Single Life. *clink*

(I love this song *turn up your volume if you can't hear it*)

Drugs.

So last night I had a purse turned in to me. I locked it in my cabinet and went home. Long story short, this morning drugs were found in it and my day suddnly went from mundane, to busy. Although I do not condone the breaking of the law, it is nice to have something, out side of bumming around on line, to do. Dealing with drugs, and volitle people, and death threats, etc... is what makes my job worth while. I wish I could find somewhere doing this same job, where it is needed more. Here I spend most of the time sitting and dinking around online. I want a place where I spend most of my time actually working. However I think this is probably the most eventfull post I will ever get stationed at. Everything from here on out pays better, but its paying for looks, not action. *sigh*

Money

So I didn't upgrade. But I do have a comprehinsive warentee until the car reaches 100k. I finish the last few 'loose ends' with the paper work tonight. It is on a 5 year loan. Its a actually 5y 10mo, so about 6y. However, if I get a part time job and can put just an extra 200mo to it then it will only be a little more then 2 years. If I can manage to get promoted to a Federal site then that will also greatly speed up the process. All this paper work has me all worded out. So good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night. :P

Stress.

So I heard back about my car. In laymens terms it has a bad crank shaft berring, a bad rear main oil seal, and both front outer CV joints are bad. So I bought a new car. Its mostly new. 50k '04. I am thinking that tonight when we do the rest of the paper work that if it is doable I am going to upgrade to NEW, NEW. It is a bout the same price and 50k less miles. Different car so we'll see... But the new car I can do on a lease. Which means that after 2 years I can decide to buy it, or trade it in, or just be done with it. As is I would be stuck with 5 years of a car that will do the job, do it well, do it right, do it reliably, but I don't like. The NEW car I like more< key word is More not LOVE. But the new car also lets me choose something else in 2 years if I decide I want to. :) If I can get it thats where its going. In the mean time it makes me nervous. It'll be 10% interest. I have GOOD credit. I should be able to get it. We shall see...(ominous music plays)

SWING DANCING!!!

YAY for Swing! A bit o' Ball Room too. I went dancing at the Ballet and Dance Center next door to the Murray Arts Center Saturday night. There was Swing Dancing, Waltzing, Salsa, and half a dozen other types of dancing. I only know Swing and the Waltz, so they are all I did. I haven't done some of those dances in 11 years! It was like riding a bike. A little rusty but it comes right back to ya. I do wish there were a Club in Salt Lake that would do such dancing, with out the LDS standards. It would be nice to find a following that apreciates the dance without all the religous reasons for attending. *sigh* I just want a nice girl who likes to ball room dance. lol either way it was GREAT fun and I am going to have to convince some of my friends to come with me sometime. :)